Personal Fires

For those of you not old enough to get the full meaning behind the title; Memorex is a company that was a big player in the field of recording media. When cassettes were at the forefront of technology, the biggest issue was the quality of recording you could get. Memorex ran a series of commercials suggesting that recordings made on their tape would be so good you’d have to ask, “Is it real? Or is it Memorex?”

Here’s where I’m going with this. Our subconscious minds control our physical bodies, but our conscious minds can be used to program our subconscious.

For example, if you want to do something physical, like pick up a book, you may think that your conscious mind is controlling the action. Not so. Your conscious mind only sets the intention and monitors progress. It is your subconscious that controls all of the muscle functions required to walk across the room and reach for the book. You could not possibly do it with your conscious mind; there are far too many things involved.

Dr. Wayne Dyer uses the best example I’ve ever heard to demonstrate how the subconscious controls the physical. This works better if someone speaks it to you, but you can still get a feel for it by reading through the process.

Close your eyes and imagine you are standing at your kitchen counter. In front of you is a wooden cutting board. On it sit a sharp knife and a lemon. The lemon is very large – almost as big as an orange – and beautiful. The color is a deep yellow.

In your mind, pick up the lemon. Feel the weight of it in your hand. It has mass. It presses against your fingers as you move it in the air. Feel the texture of it. Its skin is tacky and full of large pores.

Now, raise the lemon to your nose and sniff. Smell the fresh citrus.

When you are ready, put the lemon back on the cutting board and pick up the knife. Use it to cut the lemon in half. See the juice squirt as you make the cut. This is the ripest, juiciest lemon you’ve ever seen.

Cut off a one-inch thick slice, and then cut that slice in half so you now have a couple of nice, thick half-moon pieces. Pick one up. Feel the juice run across your fingers as you raise it to your face. The lemon smell is even stronger. Now, open your mouth and take a big bite of it, filling your mouth with lemon pulp.

Right now, what’s happening in your mouth? Are your saliva glands working overtime? Can you taste the lemon?

But, wait! There’s no lemon! How is this possible?

It’s possible because you’ve seen, held, smelled and (probably) tasted lemon before. Your mind has recorded that information, and when you imagined doing those things again, that tape recorder between your ears simply replayed the experience.

But what’s truly amazing is that the physical world (your body, and specifically, your mouth) responded as if it was really happening!

This demonstration works as well as it does because of the strength of our bodies’ reaction to the sensations we experienced the first time we smelled, tasted, etc., a lemon. The same thing happens when we replay a recording of the same activities, only using something more bland, like a banana or a graham cracker. It’s just that the reactions are a lot more subtle, so they are harder to notice.

The physical body will react to the mental impression in exactly the same way it reacts to the physical impression.

So, what happens if you have no prior experience with something you are imagining? As an example, most people in the U.S. have never had any exposure to durian. It’s a fruit found in southeast Asia.

If you tried the above experiment, using durian as the subject, you would have very little, if any, reaction from your physical self. This is because your subconscious mind has no reference, no recording to play back.

On the other hand, if I gave you this description of it I found on the Internet…

“Walk through the vegetable stalls in Singapore or Bangkok during durian season and you’ll swear the city’s sewage disposal system is on the blink. English novelist Anthony Burgess, in fact, has said that dining on durian is a lot like eating vanilla custard in a latrine.”

…even though you still had never even seen it, you would have a physical reaction.

So, we now know why creative visualization doesn’t work for some people; they have no frame of reference. It’s virtually impossible for someone earning $300 a week to imagine what it’s like to make $1,000,000 in a year, and believe it’s possible for them. They’ve never done anything like that. It’s not recorded in their subconscious. There’s no tape to replay.

Even believing that they could make just another $100 per week can be difficult. After all, that’s a 33% increase in income. On the other hand, someone earning $50,000 per year can easily believe that they can find another job that would pay them $55k. It’s a much smaller leap of faith.

BUT! Visualization does work, and it can work for everyone. Here’s how:

First, we need to understand that – NEWSFLASH! – people are different. Some of us need only to be told that something is possible, and we will accept it completely. Others need to be shown the proof, in no uncertain terms.

If you are among the fortunate ones who can imagine yourself in a scenario, can invest emotion into it and believe in it, you need only create your desired situation in your mind and focus on it. See yourself in it, living it, enjoying it. Create a vision board. Use affirmations. Whatever ‘clicks’ for you (you’ll know it when it happens) is what you should use.

Those who need a more grounded technique will simply need more time. The same techniques mentioned above can work for you, too, but they will take much more time. Never-ending repetition (brainwashing) will slowly change your beliefs, but it’s not any fun, and few of us have the willpower to subject ourselves to it voluntarily. Instead, I suggest a baby-steps method.

Start by choosing an area of your life you’d like to improve. Since we were just talking about income, let’s use that topic.

Your objective at first is to bring more money into your life; not necessarily to be paid more on your job. Pick a believable dollar amount that would make you feel good, and a time frame that is reasonable. For example; $500 in 60 days. If $500 is too big to believe, go with $100, or $50. The specific amount is not important, but it should be just big enough for you to feel a little bit of surprise when it happens. And a little bit of pride, too!

Dedicate a few minutes (10-20 is all you need) a day to focusing on this extra money coming into your life. Make plans for what you’ll do with it, and imagine how you’ll feel when you get to spend the money.

Do not put any attention on how the money will appear. Do not try to plan a method to obtain it. Do not spend time questioning whether this will work, or coming up with reasons why it won’t. This exercise is about having fun, so focus on that. You don’t have to believe in it, and it’s OK to feel foolish doing it (a common issue in the beginning). You should be able to smile about it at the end of each session, so have fun with it.

This is a set-it-and-forget-it process. Focus on the goal during the appointed time, and forget about it the rest of the day. If you are diligent about this activity, you WILL see that extra money come into your life in the designated time frame.

* There are few hard and fast rules in this game, but I’m going to suggest that you abide by this one: You MUST spend this extra money in a way that makes you feel good. It MUST be used for something fun. No bill paying, unless it’s a final payment on a credit card or car loan, etc. – something you can celebrate! *

Try it, and let us know what happens.

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In my last post, I talked about why comparing ourselves to others is a bad idea, and I promised to provide some suggestions for how to start to make changes in your life.

There is an old saying, often used in public speaking to make a point, that says, “The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same things, but expecting to get a different result.”  How many people do you know who could be hospitalized based on that definition?  Should a doctor start writing a prescription for you?

The first thing you need to do to make a change in any area of your life, is to turn your thoughts around.

Why do you need to change your thoughts?  Because what you think about is what you get.  If you want to accomplish more in your life, if you want to be motivated, you have to be able to think motivating thoughts.  If you’re down in the dumps because your relationship with the boss is strained, you must start thinking differently about it.

Sustaining those thoughts takes effort, energy and a conscious decision to do so, especially in the beginning.  So, what’s the answer?  Baby steps.  Start small, and build on your successes.

I listed the following suggestions:

• Stop comparing yourself to others.
• Stop beating yourself up about your situation.
• Start looking for supportive input.
• Take action on good ideas.

Let’s take a look at the first bullet – Stop comparing yourself to others.  Easier said than done, right?  Well, get ready – when it comes to making changes, almost everything falls into that particular category.  But, take heart!  You can do it!

The good news about comparing yourself to others is that it’s all done in your head!  It’s completely within your power to simply stop thinking that way, and there’s nothing external to you that is required.

The bad news about comparing yourself to others is that it’s all done in your head!  It’s a habit that you’ve developed over many years, and old habits can be hard to break.  Unfortunately, there’s no pill you can take, nothing you can buy, no one person to punish that can break the habit.  You’ll just have to work at it –  the same way you worked at creating the habit!

First, you need to be aware that you’re doing it, and when.  This is probably the toughest part of the whole process, since these thought patterns become second nature – we don’t have to make an effort to think them; they just come automatically.

Make an effort to be more aware of your thoughts throughout the day.  At first, it may be difficult.  Your mind will run off on tangents, and you’ll get lost in them.  That’s OK.  Just keep trying.  With practice, you’ll find that you can recognize certain thought patterns, and possibly things that trigger those patterns.

As an example, let’s say that a co-worker is the same age as you.  He or she has managed to achieve certain goals that you’re still struggling to reach.  They may not flaunt it intentionally, but when you see them in their new car, you may feel as though you’re a failure in your career.  You haven’t gone as far as fast, and you can’t see any reason why.

That’s the time to catch yourself!

Start right there to redirect your thoughts.  The past is behind you.  You’ve made your decisions and taken your actions, and they brought you to this place.  Accept where you are, and look forward toward where you want to be.  Turn your focus to what you want, and away from what you don’t have or didn’t do.

The past doesn’t matter, except as a history lesson.  The only thing that matters is how you process the circumstances you are in now, and the actions you take from this point onward.  Life is not a race, and that co-worker is not ahead of you.

So, start small.  Make a list of goals; things you’d like to have, do or be.  Don’t filter it with excuses or rationalizations.  If you’d like to be the Queen of England, put it on the list!  This isn’t about being realistic.  It’s about stimulating your subconscious mind.

Don’t worry about finishing the list in one sitting – or even finishing it at all.  We should all be continuing to add to our lists throughout our lives.

Don’t show it to anyone.  This is a list of personal dreams, desires and fantasies.  If you expect to be showing it to someone else, you will be far more likely to impose restrictions on what you include.  So, if you are a 40 year old man, and have a frivolous desire to dance down the street in a pink tutu and fireman’s boots, put it on the list!  You’re not making plans for your future here.

Allow yourself to smile, laugh, giggle, as you make this list.  A big part of the purpose of this exercise is to make you feel good.  So, the more fun you have with it, the better.

That’s it, for now.  Just get started.  Include whatever you like.  A week or a month from now, if you look over your list and see something that doesn’t appeal to you any more, you’re completely free to take it right back off the list.

So, let your imagination run!  Have some fun with this exercise, and I’ll have more to say in my next post.